As undergraduates back then, one statement was repeatedly emphasized to us: “If you miss it in marriage, about 80% of your usefulness in life is gone.” That statement gave me the right perspective on marriage. Now, being married and privileged to counsel people maritally, I understand why.
Friend, you need to live by God’s manual for marriage. No one succeeds at marriage by instinct. God invented marriage, so His manual is non-negotiable if you want it to work (Genesis 2:18). You cannot run an iPhone without Apple’s guide. You cannot run marriage without God’s Word (John 8:31-32).
What does a successful marriage look like (Proverbs 14:12)? For some, success = no quarrels. For others, success = money flowing and zero stress. For many, success = peace + fulfilment. What does the Bible call success? Proverbs 29:18: “Where there is no vision, the people perish.”
A successful marriage is a purposeful marriage (Genesis 1:26-28). So ask: Why did God join you and your spouse (Amos 3:3)? Singles, why is God pointing you to that person? Until you answer the “why,” you cannot define success biblically.
A purposeful marriage does not mean a dull marriage or a broke marriage (Proverbs 5:18). You can have fun and finance while fulfilling divine purpose in marriage. They are not mutually exclusive (Matthew 6:33). The key is prioritizing the “why” above the “what.”
A successful marriage requires partnership with God. It is divine grace plus human responsibility (Proverbs 18:22). God won’t cook for your husband or plan date night for your wife. He won’t raise your kids for you. (John 2:1-10). So let me ask you: What kind of marriage do you really want? And are you willing to pay the price for it?
‘Demola Awoyele
Lead Pastor,
Destiny Impact Church
Akure, Nigeria
