A steward in a local church came in late for an important church program without due permission. As he walked in, the pastor jokingly told him; “You have a query for coming late. I’d arrest you.” The steward flippantly responded, “I’d arrest you, too, pastor, and walked into his seat.” The pastor was dumbfounded but could do nothing. I learnt a lesson from that scenario; your pastor is not your friend.
Friend, your pastor is not your friend. One of the deceptions of this age is to present the pastor as a paddy man (1 Kings 12:31, Malachi 2:7). Your pastor should be friendly, but he is not supposed to be your friend. The friendliness of your pastor must not be mistaken as being your friend. Friendliness makes him approachable, but being your friend can be a hindrance to your receiving from him.
If someone is your friend before he becomes a pastor or your pastor, you need to decide if you are still going to stay under his ministry. If you wish to stay, then your posture must change (Mark 6:3). Nothing will flow from your pastor to you if you are posturing as a friend, rather than as a member of the flock meant to receive feeding and leading from his calling and ministry (Jeremiah 3:15).
When you get into a local church, follow and submit to the structure of leadership in that church (1 Timothy 3:15). This idea that you don’t listen to any other person except the pastor won’t help your destiny. Some people want to relate directly with the pastor without following the structure laid down in the church. Pastors should be careful of this kind of people (John 12:20-24).
One of the dangers of having your pastor as your friend is the problem of submitting to training and correction under his leadership or ministry (1 Timothy 5:20-22). Your friend cannot effectively train or correct you. Even if your pastor calls you his friend, never see or relate with him as such. There’s nowhere in the Bible that the disciples referred to Jesus as their friend (John 15:15).
You need a pastor who is both firm and friendly (Matthew 16:17, 23). Depending on your upbringing and doctrinal tilt, you would likely flow towards either of these. But you need both. If your pastor is firm and not friendly, you won’t be free with him. If he is friendly but not firm, you won’t respond well to his ministry and may even misbehave around him. Jesus is both a lion and a lamb for a reason. Selah.
‘Demola Awoyele
Lead Pastor,
Destiny Impact Church
Akure, Nigeria