I heard a funny story years ago. It was about a man who accompanied his wife to the market. The wife was still nursing their nine-month-old baby. While returning from the market, the wife had to carry the loads with her two hands together with strapping their baby at the back.

The man, on the other hand, pocketed and strolled right behind her. A concerned passerby asked him; “Sir, why don’t you help your wife with the loads?” His response reflected the mindset of a lot men today; “In the town where I came from, men don’t carry load in the market.” The passerby responded and left hurriedly; “You are a wicked man!”

Friend, are you a wicked man? Wickedness is not until you use charms to destroy people’s lives. It is when you fail to lighten the loads of stress on your wife (1 Peter 3:7). It is when you allow your ego to rob you of the opportunity to serve your wife and family (Psalms 112:1-5). Wickedness is enslaving your wife in the name of being the head.

Any head that cannot serve is a useless head (Matthew 23:1-11). Leadership is best described by service. If you claim that you are the leader in your home, let us see it in the way you serve your family. Serving your family does not reduce you. Rather, it shows how valuable and powerful you are. This is what a lot of men fail to realize. Little wonder their marriage is suffering greatly.

You can either choose your ego or your marriage. You cannot have both. Egocentricity has destroyed many homes than the devil has. This is why it takes a broken man and woman to succeed maritally. You are either broken or you suffer the consequence of a broken marriage. Anyone who would make his or her marriage to work must be selfless, submitted, and sacrificial (Ephesians 5:21). There is no other way around it.

Our ego was placed there by God as a blessing, not a curse. It is to help us live the highest kind of life that God has primed for us in positivity and a sense of self-worth (Romans 12:3, Philemon 1:6). When this ego comes in the way of service, it becomes a problem. Notice that Jesus had to put away his outer garments before he could wash the feet of his disciples (John 13:1-17). What do you need to put away for you to serve your home, either as a husband or wife?

Actually, when you serve your wife, husband, children, or family, you are really serving God, not man. Service to man must first be seen as service to God (Colossians 3:23). Even when it looks like people will take advantage of you, the God whom you have honoured and obeyed will not leave you unrewarded (Colossians 3:24). You must love your marriage more than your ego if you would succeed maritally. I hope this helps?

‘Demola Awoyele
Lead Pastor,
Destiny Impact Church
Akure, Nigeria