One of my close friends in ministry has a prophetic grace. So, when we relate, I always leverage that prophetic grace to balance up my teaching grace. He often celebrates my teaching grace and wonder, “Where do you get all these stuff you teach?” I, in turn, value his prophetic grace, and it has rubbed off on me over the years. This way, we complement, we don’t compete.
Friend, relationship is about complementation, not competition. God would, most times, bring you in contact with people who are different from you in order to balance and complete you. You must learn to recognize such differences, celebrate and leverage such for your progress and success in life (Isaiah 41:6-7).
When we don’t understand and appreciate the law of differences, we begin to get into unnecessary and unhealthy competitions. We see our friends as competitors instead of seeing them as our complements. Paul understood this, so he related healthily with Apollos (1 Corinthians 3:3-9). Just like Orange and Mango, no one is better than another. We are simply different. God has strategically and uniquely graced each one of us differently. Find your own uniqueness and flow from there (Galatians 2:8).
If you look at the Church at Antioch for instance, the Bible talks about “certain Prophets and Teachers”; this to me is a good combination as they balanced each other (Acts 13:1). While the prophets bring revelation, the teachers check and balance them up. This is how God raises a healthy church family and relationships generally. It is wrong to always look for people who are like you. To my mind, you need those who are different from you more than those who are like you.
When God brings you in contact with people different from you, don’t get into competition. Don’t get into pride thinking that you are better than them, and don’t get into depression or inferiority complex thinking that they are better than you (Romans 12:3). Be whole, healthy, and balanced in your approach to such relationships. With this mindset, you would be blessed and also be a blessing to people around you.
If husbands and wives understand the law of differences, they would maximize their marriage union rather than getting intimated or into competition (Genesis 2:23-25, 1 Peter 3:7). Singles would also be properly guided in their choice of who to marry when they understand difference. In marriage, God would often join you to someone different from you to balance you up. Compatibility in marriage is not about similarities that attract but about differences that complement.
‘Demola Awoyele
Lead Pastor,
Destiny Impact Church
Akure, Nigeria