One of my men was greatly inspired that day as I put a call through to someone. I began by discussing stuff that seemed unrelated to my purpose of calling. I even joked with the person for a while before going to the subject of discussion. The result? A relaxed atmosphere and fruitful conversation. This is how to win with people.

Friend, God has created you and me as relational being; we cannot survive outside of the right relationship network (Genesis 2:18). The people that tried it in Judges 18, were described thus; “And there was no deliverer, because it was far from Zidon, and they had no business with any man; and it was in the valley that lies by Bethrehob‚Ķ” (Judges 18:28).

Those folks in Judges 18, “had no business with any man”, no wonder they had no deliverer and dwelt in the valley. God has packaged our deliverance and lifting in men that He strategically positions around us. It is not a sign of wisdom to say that, “I don’t need any man to succeed”; it is actually a sign of ignorance. Ultimately, God is the One we need to succeed but He uses men as extensions of His help to us.

Winning with people is purely a function of wisdom. Jesus had Favour with God and men, but He also grew in wisdom to win with people (Luke 2:52). A lot of us want to win over people, but God wants us to win with people. He wants us to influence people and not manipulate them. The dominion mandate is not man dominating man, but men connecting with men dominating the earth (Genesis 1:28).

To win with people, you have got to understand people. Rather than seeking to be understood, seek to understand. A lot of us study books but we don’t study people. Jesus was a master at studying people; He knew what was in men (John 2:24). Some, He knew by word of knowledge, others by word from knowledge. He could perceive people’s thoughts (Luke 5:22). He also touched people where it mattered most (Luke 19:1-10).

You need to put other people first if you must win with them. This is the hallmark of a Christ centered life; “Do not be concerned about your own interests, but also be concerned about the interests of others” (Philippians 2:4). People easily commit to those who genuinely care for them. You need to touch a heart first before you ask for a hand.

¬© ‘Demola Awoyele
Lead Pastor,
Destiny Impact Church
Akure, Nigeria