I sat with an intending couple some years ago. While I interact with them on their convictions towards each other, the lady said something like; “I am convinced that God led me to marry him, but we are just too different in so many ways.” When she listed areas that they were different, I realised that they were actually a perfect match for each other. Today, they are still happily married.
Friend, opposite attracts. This is one of the strategies of God in bringing two people together in marital union (Genesis 2:23-25). Most times, people want to marry someone exactly like them. There are also couples who get disappointed by their spouse’s difference. What they fail to realise is that the same difference they seem disappointed about is the very reason God brought them together (Amos 3:3).
Unity is based on differences, not similarities (Ephesians 4:3-7). This is why we say that compatibility is not about similarities that attract but about differences that complement. Since your spouse is meant to complement you, she would definitely not be like you in many ways (Ecclesiastes 4:9-12). Learn to celebrate differences rather than fighting it.
If couples understand the law of differences, their marital struggles and crises would be reduced (Ephesians 5:21-33). The very thing you are fighting your spouse for may be the very reason God brought you both together. You have complained that she’s too quiet for your liking. But you don’t realise that it takes a quiet person like her to listen to a talkative like you (James 1:19).
One big mistake that singles make in choosing a life partner is looking for someone exactly like them (1 Peter 3:1-7). You want to travel the world, so you need a travel-addict like yourself. Who will take care of the home front when both of you are travelling around? You might desire a firebrand spouse, but who would take care of the practical side of your life (Proverbs 31:10-31)? You actually need a born-again, spirit-filled, spirit-led, and purpose-driven spouse. Period!
Couples need adjustments and alignments if they would maximize their differences (Matthew 19:4-6). This is where most couples do not want to take responsibility. The fact that God led you to each other does not mean that things will work automatically. You would need lots of time, patience, understanding, prayer, growth, and wisdom to make things work (Proverbs 14:1, 1 Peter 3:7). Opposite attracts; never forget this!
‘Demola Awoyele
Lead Pastor,
Destiny Impact Church
Akure, Nigeria