A lady was married to a man she considered tough and difficult to live with. She was contemplating ending the marriage before she attended a church service. Luckily, the minister digressed a little into marriage matters. She gave a few tips on how to have a blissful home as a wife. This lady went back home to try out the tips. To her utter amazement, everything turned around. She’s living happily married ever after. She had discovered what her man really wanted.

Friend, it is true that there are things that women want from their men (Please, refer to my earlier write-up on this). But there are also things that men want from their wives. By the way, what makes marriages work are mostly simple things (SoS 2:15). They are so simple that if you are too serious, you might miss them. You would be doing so much in your marriage, but you would be getting so little. This can be very frustrating.

What do men really want? Knowing what men really want would help women to manage their men and marriages well (Ecclesiastes 10:15). It would also help young ladies who are preparing for marriage to focus on the right things. Let me state here that there is an assumption that men want sex. Yes, ordinary men want sex. But real men want more than sex. They want connection. To them, sex is a means of connecting deeply with their spouse.

As a woman, if all you can offer a man is sex, you are greatly mistaken. You would be frustrated considering that you have given him your body, yet he is still not satisfied. Real men want beyond your body. They want your heart. They want to connect with you. That connection is what makes them feel secure in doing life with you (Proverbs 31:11-12).

Men want respect. The worst thing you can ever do to your spouse is to disrespect or dishonour him (1 Peter 3:5-6). I always tell young ladies, if you are not ready to respect and honour your husband, don’t get married. I have had to look at intending couples straight in the eye and ask the lady, “Can you really respect and honour this man?” Men bring out their best when honoured and respected (Proverbs 31:23-26). Some ladies need to go for a course on honour and respect before venturing into marriage.

Real men want support. There is a reason a woman is called a helper to the man (Genesis 2:18). Unfortunately, many ladies marry so that someone can support them and carry their loads. When a man realizes that the woman in his life is committed to seeing him become all that God has ordained for him, that man feels secure and strong. Ideally, your greatness as a woman would stem from how great you have made your man become (Isaiah 51:1-2). You are not to compete. You are to complement. You are not to resist him. You are to assist him. You are his helper. Did you hear?

‘Demola Awoyele
Lead Pastor,
Destiny Impact Church
Akure, Nigeria