In the early days of ministry, my spiritual father and friends had a practice of being present at each other’s convention all through for 8 days. One man of God saw such a gesture and asked why he was not doing the same for him. His reply communicated a lesson; “I don’t have such a relationship with you. Myself and my friends have paid prices for one another over the years.”
Friend, effective relationships have laws that govern them. Failure to understand and practise these laws is the reason for relationship heartbreaks and setbacks in the lives of a lot of people today (Ecclesiastes 10:15). Laws make life predictable and success repeatable. Without understanding and obeying the right laws, life will remain a mystery and confusion.
One of the laws of relationships is the law of reciprocity. Life is like a mirror. It reflects what you put into it (Proverbs 27:19). In relationships, you cannot get more than what you put into it. Your relationship is a reflection of your input and commitment. This is why you cannot have friends beyond your level of friendliness (Proverbs 18:24). The things we expect from others are the very things we need to do for them.
Do you want love in your relationship? Show love. Do you want someone to change their attitude towards you? Change your attitude towards them (Galatians 6:7). Have you ever wondered why people keep frowning at you? You need to wear some smiles too. Smile is contagious. Joy is contagious. You can literally change how people see and act towards you by simply changing how you see and act towards them.
When it comes to relationship success, your biggest problem is you, not the other person (Matthew 7:1-5). If people spend the same energy they use in trying to fix others to fix themselves, their lives would be a lot easier and better. It is the law of reciprocity. As you would that men should do unto you, do unto them likewise (Luke 6:31).
The law of seed time and harvest also applies to relationships (Genesis 8:22). Ignorance of times and seasons would lead to frustration. What season are you in your relationship (2 Kings 5:26)? Some people are trying to make demands from a relationship that they have not sown enough seeds into. You should be more preoccupied with what you are investing in a relationship than what you are getting.
‘Demola Awoyele
Lead Pastor,
Destiny Impact Church
Akure, Nigeria