In the early days of our courtship, myself and my wife (then fiancée) went out on a date, we needed to really talk. Before then, there was this “fear” that our relationship must not break; we were models on campus. But this was not allowing us to be free.
So, I told my wife, “please you are free to walk away from this relationship if you think you need to. You are not bound.” After that, everything changed for the better. We now knew that we were in it for God and us, not necessarily what people would say.
Friend, true love frees. Any supposed love that keeps you in bondage is not love. It is something else. “There is no fear in love; but perfect love casts out fear: because fear has torment. He that fears is not made perfect in love” (1 John 4:18). Perfect love casts out fear! Why are you afraid to express yourself in that relationship?
Why do you continue to bottle up stuff because you don’t want to “offend” him or her? Check it very well, there is something wrong with that kind of love and relationship. The right kind of love is expressive; you are free to be you. Be careful of relationships; marital, Church, friendship etc., that do not allow you to be free and expressive. You are supposed to be in a relationship, not a prison.
A young lady started attending our Church few years ago. After enjoying the atmosphere and the flow for a while, she said to me, “Pastor, I love how you administer your leadership here. You are not overly possessive, unlike the few churches I know. You pastor us and allow us to be us.” The truth is, nobody wants to be caged. Nobody wants to have anyone lord it over him. Nobody wants a fiancé, spouse, pastor etc. who puts them in bondage.
There is “…the glorious liberty of the children of God” (Romans 8:21). That’s the beauty of Christianity; God allows us to be free. He would not force His will on us. He only works in us both to will and do of His good pleasure (Philippians 2:13). Until you are free to make mistake, free to be stupid, free to be you, you are not yet in the right relationship or doing your relationship rightly.
You need to clarify your relationships this season; you are either engaged or entangled. While God engages us in the right relationships for destiny, the devil seeks to entangle us to demobilize us in destiny. Don’t be blindly in love. Let the truth of God’s word set you free as you embrace His concept of love and relationship this season (John 8:32, Philippians 1:9-11). You will succeed!
© ‘Demola Awoyele
Lead Pastor,
Destiny Impact Church
Akure, Nigeria