“Pastor, do you need to also go through counselling? At least, you are a pastor and have taken people through some of these things.” This was what we heard as we sat for counselling with her while preparing for our wedding. Whether she meant it or was just pulling our legs, I wouldn’t know. We went through the counselling, and it was very enriching for us.
Friend, the counsellor also needs counselling. The teacher also needs to be taught, and the deliverer also needs deliverance. The earlier you realize this, the better for you. Especially in marriage as it is with other areas, the need for counselling cannot be overemphasised. I’m deeply concerned about how people jettison the place of proper counselling when preparing for marriage these days.
The fact that some of the people who went through counselling are having it rough maritally does not absolve you of the need to go through counselling (Proverbs 11:14). Whereas there is the voice of counsel from the scriptures or the Holy Spirit, there is also the place of listening to men and women in whom God has packaged wisdom for you.
There are some things God will not tell you personally, no matter how spiritual you are. He would require you to hear it from someone else. Jethro was a voice of counsel to Moses (Exodus 18:17-23). Jeremiah had to go to the potter’s house to hear God’s word (Jeremiah 18:1-5). Paul needed to meet Ananias for clarity in ministry (Acts 9:6).
Counselling will open your eyes to things you never knew before and perspectives you might not have considered. Counselling will also help you and your spouse to hear truths from an unbiased source as you sit together to learn. Counselling will reinforce what you already know and make the knowledge more personal.
Counselling will bring timely reminders of truths to you when you go through seasons and phases in your relationship and marriage. Give room for counsels in your pursuit of marital success. Dear young man or lady, don’t be in a hurry to get married without going through proper counselling. Some things are better heard before marriage, not when you are married.
Dear married folks, postmarital counselling is as important as premarital counselling. Don’t be too big for counselling. It is better to lose your ego and save your marriage than vice versa. May the Lord direct you to your teachers and counsellors as you fulfil marital destiny in Jesus name (Isaiah 30:20-21). Amen!
‘Demola Awoyele
Lead Pastor,
Destiny Impact Church
Akure, Nigeria