Part of the highlights of our annual singles and married summit in church is a special couple’s dinner. As the day approaches, my five-old daughter came to me with excitement; “Daddy, tomorrow is our couple’s dinner!” I was like; “Our couple’s dinner? How many of you? Are you part of the couples?” Her excitement reminds me of how a lot of people see marriage. They are always peeping into marriage, even though they are still single.
Friend, stop peeping into marriage. When it comes to marriage, always remember that it is better to be single, hoping to be married than to be married, praying to be single (Ecclesiastes 3:1). As wonderful and exciting as marriage is, it needs to be approached with some soberness. Whenever I see a young person who is overlly excited about marriage, I try to advise them to calm down (Proverbs 4:7).
Some singles need to be told that just as they envy married people, some married people also envy them even though they may not tell them (1 Corinthians 7:25-29). Am I saying this to discourage you from getting married? Am I painting a picture that marriage is not sweet or as sweet as people project it? The answer is an emphatic no.
Marriage is sweet. Marriage is enjoyable. Marriage is a blessing. But it also comes with its burdens and responsibilities. It is better to face marriage with a mindset of responsibility than with just a mindset of excitement (Ecclesiastes 10:15). The only thing some people think about as far as marriage is concerned is the wedding day and all the cosmetics that come with it. Wedding is a day, but marriage is a lifetime.
Marriage is work. Making marriage work is work. This is why singles need to be well guided. You need people who think straight and logically as much as you need those who are excited (Proverbs 31:1-9). Unfortunately, most single people run away from people like that. They think that such people do not like to see them happy. They see them as enemies of progress. Some even tag them as being too serious.
The truth is, you cannot be too serious about marriage. Seriousness does not mean you are tight-faced, always frowning, looking stressed and unexcited. Seriousness simply means approaching life with the right information, preparation, and determination (1 Timothy 4:15). It means to face life with the needed readiness to give it what it takes. It is better to prepare for marriage than to repair your marriage.
‘Demola Awoyele
Lead Pastor,
Destiny Impact Church
Akure, Nigeria