I noticed that anytime I leave the house without my daughters’ knowledge, I would have questions to answer when I return. They would say things like; “Daddy, where are you coming from? Where did you go? You did not tell us you’re going out…”. I would have to humbly supply the answers. Most times, I have to inform them before even going out. They demand some form of accountability from me.

Friend, relationships demand some form of accountability. While the level of accountability will vary from relationship to relationship, we must never downplay on its importance in living a life of trust, integrity, and safety. The fact that God has graciously placed you in a community of people automatically demands that you learn accountability (Luke 2:48-52).

The difference between success and failure, safety and preservation, integrity and scandals, is accountability. Accountability is not control. It is wisdom. It is a sign of maturity (John 21:18). That you are accountable to people does not mean that they are controlling your life and movements. It only means that they love you enough to care about your whereabout and wellbeing.

You must learn to handle autonomy with accountability. You must learn to handle freedom with righteous bounds. This was the problem of Dinah (Genesis 34:1-2). Actually, you are not truly free until you are righteously bound somewhere. A young lady once told me; “I don’t like someone putting laws on me, telling me what to do and what not to do.” I smiled and responded; “that is how life works. Nobody becomes safe who is not accountable.”

I think our problem, most times, is not accountability itself but who and where the accountability is demanded. I wonder why people question the authority of their pastor but easily obey their doctors and lawyers. In fact, people care less about the age or tribe of their doctor. They just want to be fine. Listen, if you want to be fine in destiny, get rid of emotion and sentiments, and be accountable (Hebrews 13:17).

The opposite of love is not hatred. It is indifference (Hebrews 12:5-8). The fact that someone is checking on you and holding you accountable is a sign that he loves and cares for you. But if someone cared less where you go and what is happening to you, that is your real enemy. People of destiny are comfortable with accountability. They deliberately put themselves in such relationships if it’s not readily available in their circle. They don’t just want to be successful. They want to be safe.

‘Demola Awoyele
Lead Pastor,
Destiny Impact Church
Akure, Nigeria