I heard a funny story of a woman who would not support her husband’s ministry. It got so bad that she would deliberately leave the house when a church meeting is going on. When her husband tried to speak to her, her usual lines were always; “You are the one that God called and not me. I have my own life to live.” Sadly, the husband could not do much in ministry.
Friend, marriage is about partnership. If you are not ready to be a partner, don’t marry (Genesis 2:18). Why would you call someone your life partner when you have made him or her your life enemy or competitor? When we fail to run marriage as a partnership, we begin to experience all kinds of problems and difficulties (Malachi 2:13-16).
Are you a partner to your spouse? What are you doing to make life easier for him or her (Proverbs 31:12)? Are you helping to solve problems, or are you contributing to his or her problem? Are you the problem in the marriage? Marriage is meant to solve problems, fulfil purpose, and advance the kingdom of God on earth. You cannot do it alone (Ecclesiastes 4:9-12).
Some people only like the idea of getting married. They are not planning to involve another person in their lives and pursuit (1 Peter 3:7). They are married, yet, living single. Sometimes, it is not about the kind of person you marry. It is about your inability to manage that person to get the best out of him or her, and the marriage (1 Samuel 25:21-35). There are really no difficult people. We may only have difficulty relating with people.
Stop seeing your spouse as your competitor (2 Corinthians 10:12). Stop trying to prove a point to him or her. Stop trying to outdo your spouse. Don’t see your spouse’s success as a threat to you. Rather, see it as a plus to you and the marriage (Proverbs 31:23). Do your best to contribute to your spouse’s success. Don’t watch your spouse struggle in career, business, or ministry.
What kind of a partner are you? Are you a partner in crime or a partner in purpose (Isaiah 51:1-2)? Like Ananias and Saphira, some spouses only team up with their partners to do evil. They won’t team up to do good. Don’t be that kind of a spouse (Acts 5:1-11). Singles, choose a spouse that will support your divine purpose. Not one that would hinder it.
‘Demola Awoyele
Lead Pastor,
Destiny Impact Church
Akure, Nigeria