A young man was with me in the office the other day. As we discussed around relationships and marriage, I asked if he had ever thought of a particular lady that I saw both of them connect well. His response got me thinking; “But sir, we are friends. I don’t think I can marry her.” In response, I asked him; “Do you want to marry your enemy?”

Friend, when it comes to matters of relationships and marriage, you should either marry your friend or befriend whoever you choose to marry. Friendship is the cord that binds thriving marriages together (Proverbs 18:24). You cannot enjoy your marriage more than the level of friendship you have been able to develop with your spouse (Malachi 2:14). Marry your friend.

When you marry your friend, you are simply doing life with someone with whom you connect easily. Marriage then becomes fun, not work (Proverbs 5:18). It becomes pleasure, not pressure. It becomes a blessing, not a burden. Thank God for speaking in tongues, holding vigils, and singing worship songs in your home, if you are not enjoying each other’s company, you are missing a great deal.

Ladies who want to marry firebrand brothers must not undermine the place of friendship. If you see a firebrand brother or sister who is a lover of God as well as have the right chemistry with you, you have found someone to really do life and destiny with (Proverbs 5:15-20). It is the lack of chemistry in relationships and marriages that is the bane of health and wellness in such marriages. Learn to balance fire and friendship in your quest for marital success (Amos 3:3).

Marry your friend or befriend who you marry. While some would marry their friends, others will have to choose to befriend who they marry. Most times, friendship is developed. It is not automatic (Proverbs 18:24). This is why your courtship should be a time to bond well as friends. If all you ask her is about her quiet time. If all you ask him is about third dimensions, etc., without building friendship, you will not likely make it maritally.

Don’t just be partners. Be friends. Friends want to be together. They genuinely care for each other. They have conversations. They crack jokes. They tease each other. Don’t only wear a straight face in the name of being serious. Avoid spending too much time (on-site or virtual) with the opposite sex who is not your spouse (Genesis 3:1-6). You will always be close to who you spend time with. Be sure that person is your spouse. When you sow the seed of quality time in your relationships and marriage, you will reap the harvest of quality friendship and strong marriage (Genesis 8:22). Marry your friend.

‘Demola Awoyele
Lead Pastor,
Destiny Impact Church
Akure, Nigeria