We sat across the dinner table with the couple that day. It was a couple we admire so much, especially their marriage. While we got talking, the wife began to reveal the secret of their evergreen marriage. After that conversation, we came to a conclusion that marriages that work take a lot of work.

Friend, marriage is work. Beyond the romance and social media hypes, you need to work on your marriage. Your marital life is a reflection of the labours you put in or failed to put in. The scriptures describe the home as a building, but no building just emerges. It is consciously and intelligently built (Proverbs 14:1, 24:3-4, Hebrews 3:4).

If you are not ready to be a builder, don’t expect to live in a home (Proverbs 14:1). While you build a house with bricks, you build a home with wisdom. Lack of wisdom has destroyed many marriages today than the devil has. Some of our marital problems are not demonic; they are simply a result of a lack of practical wisdom.

Marriage is 100% spiritual and 100% practical. Most marriages fail, not for lack of spirituality but for lack of practicality. The practical aspect of marriage speaks to the skills you deploy in managing a home. Skills are not assumed. They are carefully and consciously acquired. The Proverbs 31 woman was both spiritual and practical, and it showed in the beauty of her marriage (Proverbs 31:10-31).

As a man, learn how to handle a woman (1 Peter 3:7). A woman needs more than speaking in tongues or the anointing to be led. She needs love, understanding, and compassion. She needs assurance. She needs a sense of destiny and fulfilment. She wants to be sure that she is in safe hands. While she trusts God to take care of her, she also wants to trust that her husband would do. If you don’t have money, at least have mouth. Have vision. Have faith. Supply hope. Take responsibility. Most women are inspired by these.

As a woman, there are three rooms that are very important to keeping a home. Thank God for prayer (war) room. The kitchen is equally important as well as “the other room.” If you can manage these three rooms well, your home would be built, and your marriage will last. Never use spirituality as an excuse for lack of practicality. While it is good to admire another marriage, remember that someone built it (Hebrews 3:4).

‘Demola Awoyele
Lead Pastor,
Destiny Impact Church
Akure, Nigeria