I came across a post where a man said he would never marry a woman with more than a national diploma. People were surprised until he explained: he didn’t want a wife who would stand “shoulder to shoulder” with him in terms of certificates. To him, marriage looked like a competition.
Friend, marriage is not competition. It is partnership (Ecclesiastes 4:9-12). Marriage was never meant to be two people proving who’s better, faster, or more successful. It’s two imperfect people choosing to carry the weight together. Your spouse’s win doesn’t reduce yours. It multiplies it (1 Corinthians 12:25-26).
Strength shows up in support, not comparison (Romans 12:10). Real strength is celebrating them without shrinking yourself. When you become their biggest cheerleader, you create a home where both of you can grow without fear (Philippians 2:3-4).
You and your spouse were wired differently for a reason (Genesis 2:18). What you lack, they carry. What they struggle with, you can steady. Trying to outdo each other ignores the design. Working as one body honours it (Ephesians 5:30-31).
Words carry weight in marriage. Encouragement builds, but criticism breaks (Proverbs 16:24). A spouse who feels discouraged at home will stop bringing their best to the table. But consistent encouragement, even in small things, builds courage and confidence (1 Thessalonians 5:11).
Teamwork keeps the house standing. Every marriage faces storms. When couples compete, the house divides (Mark 3:25). When they work as a team, the house stands. Your loyalty to each other should be louder than your desire to be right or to look better. A united front can handle what two divided people cannot (Colossians 3:14).
‘Demola Awoyele
Lead Pastor,
Destiny Impact Church
Akure, Nigeria