“Pastor, I didn’t know what came over me when I proposed marriage to her. I was simply carried away. Now I need to withdraw my proposal. I was not properly guided.” This was his introductory line as he we sat together in counselling. He could not manage his emotions properly.
Friend, marriage does not cure lust. Really, you must learn to differentiate between Love and Lust. While some are truly in love, a lot are in lust, and others are simply lost! Don’t trust your emotions. Emotions are flaky. Divine direction is in your spirit, not in your flesh. Don’t let erection give you direction. Like Tamar told Amnon, I admonish you today; speak to the king (2 Samuel 13:12-13)! Tell God about that feeling or ‘leading’. Don’t hide it from your pastor and authority figures. There must be no hiding. Speak to the King!
Don’t let your heart take you on a journey without your head (Proverbs 4:23). Ladies, don’t put yourself in compromising situations. Don’t be gullible or naive. Be wise. Be courteous. Be tutored. Don’t be like Dinah, who went out to meet the daughters of the land and missed her portion in destiny (Genesis 34:1-2). You are a daughter of the Most High God. Don’t bring yourself low. You are bought with a price, don’t ‘sell’ yourself cheap (1 Corinthians 6:20).
Dear lady, be a woman of virtue. Brother, be a man of valour (Proverbs 31:1-31). Learn how God speaks to you. Know His timing for your life. Don’t be under pressure. Master divine communication in all matters of life. Don’t wait until marriage. Get purpose. Get God. It is purpose before partner; work before wife (Genesis 2:15, 18).
God has your best interest at heart (Jeremiah 29:11). Choose to go the way of the Lord. God knows best. He knows tomorrow more than you know yesterday. Pass the test of waiting. Dear sister, if that guy cannot wait, he does not deserve you. Dear young man, subject that leading to time and patience. Time is a clarifier. He that believes will not make haste (Isaiah 28:16). It is better to wait and get it right than to rush and miss it.
Marriage does not cure lust, only grace and wisdom can. Don’t see marriage as an escape route from lust or boredom. Wedding day is not magic day. If you cannot manage it now, you cannot manage it even when you are married. You need to be successfully single if you hope to be successfully married. Singleness is a blessing, not a curse. It is better to be single, hoping to be married than to be married, praying to be single.
‘Demola Awoyele
Lead Pastor,
Destiny Impact Church
Akure, Nigeria