When I was on campus, I had a friend that everyone usually brought their hard questions to. At times, he won’t have a ready answer to the questions, but he’d promise them to get it done soon. He would visit the school library in search of answers. Unknown to others, he was using them to gain mastery on the course. He graduated top of his class.
Friend, don’t outsource your growth. One of the things that you must prioritise this season is your growth (1 Timothy 4:13-15). Just as nobody can eat for you, nobody can grow for you. Growth is personal and individualistic. You cannot grow on the feed of another. A wife cannot grow on the feed of her husband and vice versa. Church members won’t grow just because their pastor is growing.
The best that the closest relationships in your life can do for you is to challenge and assist you to grow. But the responsibility of growth is entirely yours (Philippians 4:9). Don’t see the growth of your closest circle as a threat. Rather, see it as a motivation for your own growth. Don’t fight growth. Don’t envy growth. Don’t ignore growth. Go with growth and grow with growth.
Be intentional about your growth this season (Acts 6:4). Get out of circles that trap your potential. If you are the only one growing in your circle of relationships, you may have to check out of that circle. If not, you would put a limit on your own growth. We all need people who stretch us. We need people who keep challenging us to become a better version of ourselves (Philemon 1:6).
Don’t outsource your growth. The person who constantly solves your problem is growing at your own expense (Matthew 17:14-17). It is usually comfortable for our flesh to want to give the hard work to others. We want someone else to do the thinking for us. We want someone to help solve our problems. We grow by thinking. We grow by solving problems. What problems have you outsourced to others recently that you could have tackled on your own?
You don’t grow by wishing to grow. You grow by doing what growth requires (John 8:31-32). No matter how much you talk about prayers, if you don’t pray, you won’t know how to pray. Spiritual growth comes by staying committed to spiritual routines or rituals (Mark 1:35). In your office, be the staff that everyone comes to meet to solve their problems and not vice versa. The better you grow, the higher you go. If you don’t grow, you would groan. Growth is personal. Don’t outsource your growth.
‘Demola Awoyele
Lead Pastor,
Destiny Impact Church
Akure, Nigeria