I was having a conversation with my wife recently. As we got talking about the spate of broken marriages these days, my wife asked a sincere question; “Why do people still suffer break up after being together for decades? I thought the long years of being together should signal strength and sustainability?” My response is the basis of today’s write-up; “No marriage breaks up suddenly. There have been cracks left unmended over the years.” You need to fix the cracks.
Friend, you need to fix the cracks in your relationship and marriage (SoS 2:15). Just as there is no accidental success, there is also no accidental failure. The truth is, nothing just happens. Anytime you hear about sudden failure or fall, know that there have been cracks that were left unattended to (Luke 22:31-32). If you want to insure your relationship and marriage against breakage, fix the cracks before it’s too late.
Most times, cracks are not easily noticeable except when thoroughly examined (Hosea 7:8-9). Especially internal cracks, you can carry on with cracks around your life and destiny while people continue to think that you are fine (Revelation 3:1-2). The day I heard a man of God say that his marriage was not working for a long time while he was still holding marriage seminars everywhere, I realised that there’s more to marriage than meet the eye.
I always tell couples and intending-couples to stop faking things. If it’s not working, it’s not working (Ecclesiastes 10:10). You have got to fix the cracks. Perhaps ‘what would people say’ has made a lot of marriage end prematurely. Especially if you are a public figure, you need to make up your mind to prioritise your marital health above your public image. When the chips are down, what you are trying to hide from the public would soon be visible to all (Mark 4:22). You need to fix the cracks.
The things that eventually end marriages have been there all along (Matthew 13:24-28). This is why the first three years of a marriage are important. This is when you would have the greatest disagreements, fights, conflicts, and crises. But the way you manage those matters a lot (Amos 3:3). Some do not face them headlong but choose to sweep things under the carpets. Others try to fake things. Some people do not like to involve a third party, so they end up managing their cracks alone.
Every healthy marriage needs a third party. Ideally, the third party is God (Ecclesiastes 4:12, Malachi 2:14). But He also uses people to play that role. A relationship or marriage without accountability will lack sustainability. It is not a sign of strength to keep hiding your wounds. It is actually a sign of weakness and/or pride (2 Kings 6:1-6). You need to fix the cracks before the whole building crumbles. Did you hear?
‘Demola Awoyele
Lead Pastor,
Destiny Impact Church
Akure, Nigeria