My wife and I were class mates in school. We graduated same year, served (NYSC) same year and are just about a year difference in age. How are we able to go through marriage demands and expectations despite all these? How am I able to provide loving leadership? How is she able to give respectful submission? It’s all in the understanding of strength in marriage

The first requirement for effective leadership in the home is strength, not brilliance. God is not first looking for brilliant people to lead His purpose and agenda on the earth. He is looking for strong people. This was why God kept telling Joshua to be strong and very courageous (Joshua 1:6-10). This is what life requires. This is what marriage demands.

Dear husbands, the issue with most women is not how to submit but who and what to submit to. This is why every young single guy should work on his strength and capacity. It is not a function of age but a function of responsibility and maturity. There are many full-beard men who are still boys as far as relationship and marriage are concerned.

Instead of wasting your efforts in gathering some beards, while not invest it in gathering strength. The reality is this, a wise lady would look beyond the beard into the manliness in you. While it is cool to wear nice beards and develop six-pack, all of these help no one in marriage if the needed skill, strength and capacity are not in place.

“For I know him, that he will command his children and his household after him…” (Genesis 18:19). This was the testimony of God about Abraham and this is what God expects from every father. We must not allow sociology and westernization to becloud our sense of reasoning as far as God’s standards for fatherhood in the home is concerned.

A father must be able to “command” his children and household; he must be able to provide loving leadership. Unlike Eli that was merely ‘advising’ his children, Abraham commanded them (1 Samuel 2:22-24). He charged them. He taught them. He mentored them. He encouraged them. All of these are a function of manliness and strength. A husband must play the man. Young guys must develop strength before marriage. Single ladies must look for strength in their consideration for who to marry.

It is the absence of strong and loving leadership at home that often make women to go helter skelter, looking for what is not lost, until they become victims of abuses. Prayer centers and counselling rooms are mostly filled with women today because of the absence of strong husbands. Children are going wayward because of the absence of strong fathers. Don’t forget that the first marriage failed because of the absence of strong leadership (Genesis 3:1-9). May your marriage not fail in Jesus name. Amen!

© ‘Demola Awoyele
Lead Pastor,
Destiny Impact Church
Akure, Nigeria