A senior minister once told us of how a man of God walked up to him after a conference and said; “You referred to so and so as your covenant friend. What about me? Who am I to you? Am I also your covenant friend?” He responded humbly and respectfully; “You are not even my friend, let alone my covenant friend.” This man of God has learnt to define relationships.
Friend, you need to define relationships. One of the laws of relationships is that every relationship must be defined (Proverbs 18:24). If you don’t define relationships correctly, you would end up opening your life to unnecessary and unhelpful baggage. Know where and how to place people in your life. Know who people are to you. Don’t be sentimental about it.
Sentiments have truncated more destinies than the devil has (2 Corinthians 5:16). Being sentimental about relationships is not treating relationships for what they are. It is being emotional about what you should be prophetic and decisive about. It is looking at people’s face and considering their actions or inactions in dealing with them (Matthew 16:13-23).
Not all relationships are covenant or permanent relationships. Most are going to be casual and transient (1 Corinthians 4:15). One of the recipes for confusion is giving the same honour and value to all relationships. It is making permanent what should be temporary or transient. It is calling a casual relationship a covenant relationship.
Everybody is important to God. But not everybody is important to you (John 21:21-22). Love everybody with the love of Christ, but don’t be under pressure or compulsion to relate with everybody. Everybody cannot be your friend, and not every friend should have the same level of access in your life (Matthew 17:1-2). Your life and relationships should be compartmentalised.
Jonathan knew who David was to him by revelation, but he allowed sentiment with his father to severe him from a God-ordained relationship (1 Samuel 23:17, 2 Samuel 1:23-27). Some people are more than friends or colleagues to you. They are your destiny or covenant friends. You need to know who these people are by revelation and relate with them by understanding.
‘Demola Awoyele
Lead Pastor,
Destiny Impact Church
Akure, Nigeria