“Pastor, do you need to also go through counselling? At least, you are a pastor and have taken people through some of these things.” This was what we heard as we sat for counselling with her while preparing for our wedding. Whether she meant it or was merely pulling our legs, I wouldn’t know. We went through the counselling and it was very enriching for us.

Friend, you need the right counsels for marital success. I was already pastoring a local Church when I got married. My wife and I have been actively in ministry before then. However, we needed to go through counselling, not just for formality but of necessity. We had to convince ourselves that, the counsellor also needs counsel if he would succeed in marriage and any other venture for that matter. We don’t want to live in assumption. We needed guidance as much as everyone needs it.

The need for counsels cannot be overemphasized as far as marital success is concerned. I’m concerned to see how people jettison the place of proper counseling when preparing for marriage these days. Some churches even have a way of explaining counselling away, doing crash program. Listen, “Where no counsel is, the people fall: but in the multitude of counsellors there is safety” (Proverbs 11:14).

Whereas there is the voice of counsel from the scriptures and the Holy Spirit, there is also the place of listening to men and women in whom god has packaged wisdom for you. There are some things God will not tell you personally no matter how spiritual you are. He would require you to hear it from someone else. Jethro was a voice of counsel to Moses (Exodus 18:17-23). Jeremiah had to go to the Potter’s house to hear God’s word (Jeremiah 18:1-5). Paul needed to meet Ananias for clarity in ministry (Acts 9:6).

Counseling will open your eyes to things you never knew before and to perspectives you might not have considered. Counselling will also help you and your spouse to hear truths from an unbiased source as you sit together to learn. Counselling will reinforce what you already know and bring the knowledge more personal. Counseling will bring timely reminders of truths to you when you go through seasons and phases in your relationship and marriage.

Beloved, give room for counsels in your pursuit of marital success. Dear young man or lady, don’t be in hurry to get married without going through proper counseling. Some things are best heard before you get married. Dear married folks, don’t be too big for counselling. It is better to lose your ego and save your home than vice versa. May the Lord direct you to your teachers and counsellors as you fulfil marital destiny in Jesus name (Isaiah 30:20-21). Amen!

© ‘Demola Awoyele
Lead Pastor,
Destiny Impact Church
Akure, Nigeria