When he informed me that he had proposed to the lady, I knew he was in error, but I could not tell him since he had already gone ahead to propose. I just wished him well. What he did not know was that the said lady already told me she was in a relationship with another person. I watched as the event unfolded. Long story short, the relationship did not work.
Friend, understand the place of pastoral counsel and covering in matters of relationship and marriage (Proverbs 11:14). This is one truth I feel like screaming so all singles could hear. I keep hearing different versions and episodes of relationship breakage among singles, and I just pray they learn.
Sometimes, you won’t know if someone is learning until they get to junctures of decisions (2 Timothy 3:7). The same person who gives a nod when relationship teaching is going on will likely do the opposite of what’s been taught when they face marital decisions. It’s like a special demon from hell is often released to blindfold people at that juncture (Judges 14:1-3).
I have seen the most committed member of a church misbehave at this juncture. Even the person counselling others would likely fall into the same ditch unless he’s well counselled and helped during his or her time (Romans 2:16-24). Listen, when it comes to marital choices, you need to calm down. Delay will be an advantage. Haste is an enemy.
People discard pastoral counsel due to haste. Some are just overconfident, while others are presumptuous. You need to deal with these trio if you won’t miss it maritally; haste, overconfidence, and presumption (Isaiah 28:16). You need to calm down. You need to convince yourself that you can be wrong. You need to double-check what you think is right. Don’t be presumptuous.
Marital decisions are almost irreversible and irredeemable once you cross the dotted line (Matthew 19:5-6). It is better to be single, hoping to be married than to be married, praying to be single. Carry your pastor along so you won’t be deceived. Stay under his covering so you won’t be preyed upon. Your pastor is not your enemy. He is not against you but for you. He has your best interest at heart.
‘Demola Awoyele
Lead Pastor,
Destiny Impact Church
Akure, Nigeria