A young man ran to his pastor, furious. “My wife is a witch! She’s devil-sent! She’s ruining my life!” Nothing could calm him down. The pastor asked one simple question: “Did you marry her as a witch?” He went quiet. Then, the pastor began to teach him how to understand the woman he actually married.
Friend, who did you marry? Many people wake up in marriage to a person they don’t recognize (Genesis 29:25). Not because their spouse changed overnight. But because there were truths they never saw and weren’t prepared for. Let’s be honest: People rarely change. Most times, you’re just discovering who they’ve always been (John 2:24).
Don’t marry a stranger (Proverbs 5:20). It’s shocking how many people say “I know him” after a few times at a restaurant. Marriage is not built on assumptions (Proverbs 7:7). You don’t enter it blind, hoping you will “figure each other out” along the way.
You can’t read people like a book. It takes time, real-life situations, and divine revelation to truly know someone (Jeremiah 17:9-10). You can’t judge a person by one environment. People behave differently at church, at work, and at home (2 Corinthians 11:13-15). The devil himself can look like an angel of light when he wants to.
Test people in different seasons (John 6:66). Don’t only know her at work. Know her in her home. In her community. With her family. Don’t meet someone abroad and commit without doing your homework (1 Kings 11:1-6). Who is he when no one is watching? Who is she when things don’t go her way? How much of his past do you know?
You need God to reveal people to you (Deuteronomy 29:29). Sometimes, what people say and who they are are two different things. How would you know if God doesn’t show you? Even after marriage, you will need God to keep revealing your spouse to you. That’s how you can get the best out of the marriage (Malachi 2:14-16).
‘Demola Awoyele
Lead Pastor,
Destiny Impact Church
Akure, Nigeria
