Years ago, a relationship coach shared a surprising revelation with us at a conference: he and his wife quarrelled for the first 5 years of marriage. Despite the rocky start, their marriage is now strong and inspiring others. I learnt the importance of understanding seasons in marriage.
Friend, you need to understand seasons in marriage. Just as it is in life generally, you would go through seasons in your marriage (Ecclesiastes 3:1-11). Failure to discern and manage your seasons would be the bane of your marital success. Seasons are not our enemy. They are meant to test our knowledge and maturity. We adapt to seasons even when we cannot change them (Proverbs 4:7).
When it comes to marriage, you must know the season of your own marriage. Most times, couples compare their marriage to another marriage, forgetting that they may not both be in the same season (2 Corinthians 10:12). The fact that you and another couple both got married the same day and even in the same church does not mean you would go through the same seasons.
Our seasons are determined by the unique journey and destiny that God has ordained for each one of us (Jeremiah 29:11). They are also defined by who and where we are before and during the marriage. No two marriages are the same because no two sets of couples are the same (Romans 12:3). Stop judging your spouse or marriage. Start discerning your spouse and season.
Sometimes, the marriages you so much admire are in a season that is quite different from how they started (Acts 26:22). If that couple in our opening story never shared their struggle of five years, you might think they have always had it cool and smooth. You may think that something is wrong with you and your marriage for not having it rosy as that couple. It’s because you don’t know their story (Psalms 66:10-12).
We need couples who can be real about their struggles. This will help more people than when they appear perfect (Hebrews 4:15-16). Especially in our clime, vulnerability is still an issue to deal with. It is the reason people are swamped with their struggles, always feeling condemned. In marriage, you need someone who would hold your hands as you go through your seasons (Isaiah 51:1-3). Your marriage will work. Amen.
‘Demola Awoyele
Lead Pastor,
Destiny Impact Church
Akure, Nigeria