One of the most profound illustrations about marital intimacy that I have ever heard is the marriage triangle. I heard it first as a teenager, and it has stuck with me for years. I have seen it play out as I observe marriages. The idea of the marriage triangle is that spouses can only grow towards each other as they individually grow towards God.
Friend, marital intimacy is best achieved through divine intimacy (Ephesians 5:21-33). Picture an equilateral triangle where God is at the apex and two spouses occupy the other vertices. Spouses can only grow healthily towards each other as each partner grows towards God. It has to be vertical first, before horizontal (Malachi 2:13-16).
The greatest contribution spouses can make to the success of their marriage is to help their partner get closer to God (1 Peter 3:1-7). Listen, you would be the first beneficiary of your spouse’s spiritual development. You would also be the first beneficiary of their spiritual laziness. Help your spouse to know God (2 Peter 3:18).
If you keep mute at your spouse’s neglect of spiritual things, you are already sleeping on a ticking time bomb (Romans 12:11). For some women, the only thing that bothers them is that their husband is not taking financial responsibility at home. They don’t get bothered if he does not attend church regularly or have his personal prayer or devotion (1 Timothy 2:8-10).
Recently, I told folks during our marriage conference in church that couples must take their love beyond eros to agape (Philippians 1:9-11). If all you practise with your spouse is romantic love, you would soon get tired. But (agape) love does not get tired. Be romantic, but be prophetic, too. If your spouse genuinely loves God, he or she would also love you (Romans 5:5).
Single ladies, prioritise a man who loves God above a man who loves you (Psalm 112:1-10, 128:1-6). If he does not love God, he would soon get tired of loving you. Loving God must not just be what he professes. It must be what he practices (2 Timothy 3:5). It is seen in devotion to prayer and the word. It is seen in commitment to the things of God and in living a life of purity.
‘Demola Awoyele
Lead Pastor,
Destiny Impact Church
Akure, Nigeria