I have my designated seat at the family dining table, a tradition we’ve always followed. One evening, my wife took my seat just before dinner. As I arrived, she began to get up, but I asked her to stay seated – just for that day. It was a small act, but it taught me a valuable lesson about the difference between temporary leadership and ultimate headship, a principle that applies to family dynamics.
Friend, there is temporary leadership and permanent headship (Psalm 115:16). This is one truth most people fail to realise. Especially in the family, you must not confuse leadership with headship. For example, the husband is the head of the family. But he may not always lead on every issue or subject. This is where the wife comes in (Ecclesiastes 4:9-12).
The Bible first encourages that we submit ourselves one to another in the fear of the Lord before talking about wives submitting to their husbands (Ephesians 5:21). Submission should be mutual. While the husband remains the head, the wife can sometimes play leadership roles when it is her area of expertise (Proverbs 31:1-31).
Husbands that don’t listen to their wives are not only mistaken. They are also missing a lot (Genesis 21:10-12). Listening to your wife’s wisdom or expertise does not make you weak. It only makes you wise. Wisdom is the ability to recognise wisdom and learn from it. It is also the ability to recognise and maximize strength (Proverbs 1:5).
A secure leader does not mind giving temporary leadership to others (1 Timothy 4:12-16). He does not feel intimidated when those under him are thriving. He humbles himself to learn. He allows them to express their gifts and abilities. He does not feel threatened. Rather, he feels inspired, encouraged, and blessed (3 John 1:4).
Leadership is not the same as headship (Philippians 2:5-11). Hence, those who lead a cause within an organisation must not assume headship when they are clearly not the head. The wife should recognise her husband as the head of the home. Associates pastors should seek to represent and not replace their senior pastors. Lucifer confused leadership with headship (Isaiah 14:12-15).
‘Demola Awoyele
Lead Pastor,
Destiny Impact Church
Akure, Nigeria