A young married man abruptly left his wife and family. The pastor managed to talk to him. He shared that he was tired of the stress from his family’s attitudes and behaviours. The pastor responded gently, explaining that marriage is a place where you grow and develop the fruits of the Spirit. The man went back home.
Friend, marriage is one of the platforms that God has provided for us to develop the fruits of the Spirit (1 Peter 3:1-7). When you look at the way Paul compared the relationship between a husband and wife with that of Christ and the Church, you would realise that God wants our homes and marriages to mirror Christianity and the kingdom (Ephesians 5:21-33).
Marriage and family relationships are supposed to be the closest relationships to us (Matthew 19:4-6). The people closest to us are the best determinants and descriptions of our Christian character and maturity. If it does not work at home, you cannot export it (1 Timothy 3:5). The true test of your Christian life is what happens in your home and family.
You have not seen the person who would offend you until you get married (Malachi 2:14-16). You have not seen the person who would provoke you until you have children. Like the young man in our opening story, many people are trying to escape the demands of the family life, not knowing that it is where God wants to supply the grace to live the Christian life (Luke 15:17-18).
Stop running away from relationships that are meant to make you (Proverbs 27:17). Except for abusive relationships, one way to grow and mature is by relating with people who stretch you to make you better. You cannot claim that you are patient until you meet a provocative person. You cannot say that you are humble until you meet a proud person (Romans 12:3, James 4:6).
Rather than complaining about your spouse, siblings, or parents, see them as God’s tools for shaping and moulding you for destiny (Ephesians 6:1-4). They would force you to pray, work on your character, and depend on the Holy Spirit. These would, in turn, make you a better Christian. Christian maturity is not developed in isolation (Psalm 68:6). It is developed in the right community.
‘Demola Awoyele
Lead Pastor,
Destiny Impact Church
Akure, Nigeria