My children have a peculiar way of relating with me. Especially when they come around and cuddle me. On one of those days, my wife gently told Faith, “Leave my husband alone.” Her response taught me a great lesson: “But he is my Daddy.” Sincerely, I didn’t know what to say. I simply gave both of them a warm smile. I realised that I mean different things to different people.
Friend, you need to know how to manage your roles in relationships. It begins with understanding relationships and differences. You are not the same person to different people. A lot of people relate to you based on their perception and need (Matthew 16:13-18, Mark 6:1-3).
As a pastor of a local church, my members see me as pastor and spiritual father, but my immediate family sees me in a deeper light. To my wife, I’m not only her pastor but also her husband. My children see me as their Dad. Being able to switch roles and manage expectations is critical to health and success.
You can be a good pastor but a bad father because you don’t understand how to switch roles (Acts 21:8-9, Colossians 3:19-21). Some people are good employees but bad members of their family. You need the wisdom of God to know how to engage different relationships (Proverbs 4:7).
No matter what you have become in life, there should be people who can still call you by your first name or nickname. To my older siblings and some close relationships, I’m Demola. But to some of our church members, I’m Daddy. Everyone relates to me based on who they see me to be (2 Corinthians 5:16-17).
Never make the mistake of relating with everyone equally. Never give permanent attention and investment to people who only have temporary engagement with you (Matthew 13:10-11). Reward people based on their relationship with you. Don’t give what is holy to dogs (Matthew 7:6).
‘Demola Awoyele
Lead Pastor,
Destiny Impact Church
Akure, Nigeria