At a singles and married conference sometime ago, a young man said something that got everyone laughing. He said; “I have made up my mind never to marry a lady who has beyond OND certificate. I cannot have a wife who has equal or greater qualifications than me. Such a wife cannot be submissive.” As funny as this might sound, a lot of spouses are insecure.
Friend, you need to get rid of insecurity in your relationship and marriage if you want it to thrive (Romans 12:3). Underneath many marital issues and struggles is insecurity. It can be masked in statements like; “She is not submissive, he likes bossing someone, I want my wife to be a full-time house wife, etc.” You need to deal with your insecurity if you won’t crash your relationship and marriage (3 John 1:2).
An insecure spouse would not give his or her partner freedom to be whom God has ordained them to be. Rather than helping to spread their wings, they clamp their wings (Proverbs 31:23). They believe their spouse must not be better than them. They see marriage as a competition rather than a complementation (Ecclesiastes 4:9-11).
A secure husband sees the progress of the wife as a feather in his cap. Biblically, the woman is the glory of the man (1 Corinthians 11:7). We cannot rate you as a successful man until we see what you make of your wife. If your wife becomes the President of your country or the CEO of a multinational company, it already means your level has changed, and vice versa. Learn to celebrate your spouse’s progress (Proverbs 31:28).
Like the young man in our opening story, some husbands are threatened by the strength and success of their wives. What you bring to your marriage is not just money, certificate, or status. What you bring is leadership (1 Corinthians 9:5). When a woman sees a leader in you, she would submit, even if she’s a professor, governor, CEO, etc. Prepare yourself to lead a great woman (2 Kings 4:8-10).
God is raising high-capacity women who are clothed with humility (1 Peter 3:1-7, 5:5). Dear woman, don’t make your achievements in society be the bane of peace, unity, and progress in your home. Don’t confuse your status in the world with your position in the home. Humility adds colour and beauty to status and position (Proverbs 31:25-31). A successful marriage is one in which both partners are free to be whom God has ordained them to be.
‘Demola Awoyele
Lead Pastor,
Destiny Impact Church
Akure, Nigeria