A young man came to a pastor to discuss his marriage plans. He told the pastor; “Sir, kindly join me in prayer. I’m trusting God to give me a prayerful woman who is God-fearing, industrious, etc.” After taking time to listen to him, the pastor asked him; “Are you also working these important virtues into your own life?”
Friend, you need to become the kind of person you want to marry (Proverbs 23:7). When it comes to marriage, a lot of people, especially singles, have their dreams and fantasies. As good as this might be, many do not have the decision, discipline, and dedication needed to fulfil such dreams. You will not marry the spouse you desire. You will marry the spouse you deserve (Proverbs 31:10-12).
A prayerless man does not deserve a prayerful woman, and a lazy woman does not deserve a wealthy man (Amos 3:3). Let your dedication match your desire. When you work at developing the very things you desire in a man or woman, you make it easier and faster to attract such a spouse. Singles, stop waiting for the right person. Be the right person (Judges 4:4).
God has prepared a spouse for you. But are you preparing yourself for such a spouse (1 Corinthians 2:9)? Success is born when opportunity meets preparation. You may not have control over who God is bringing, but you have control over who you are becoming (Philippians 3:12-14). Most marital delays are caused by a lack of adequate preparation.
Stop trying to change your spouse. Try and change you (Romans 12:2). It is easier for a spouse to change when he or she notices changes in the other person. Dear man, let your wife see you pray, and you will have a prayerful woman. Dear woman, challenge your man to be industrious by saying no to laziness. Whatever you want in your spouse, work it into your own life (1 Peter 3:1-7).
A strong marriage is a product of mutual preparation and responsibility (Ecclesiastes 4:9-12). You cannot put all the blame or expectations on your spouse. Do your part, and you will challenge your spouse to do his or hers. Also, when God sees that you are genuinely labouring for a great marriage, He will reward your labour with bliss and blessings (Psalm 128:1-6). Amen!
‘Demola Awoyele
Lead Pastor,
Destiny Impact Church
Akure, Nigeria