I recently attended a celebration. During the wraps, the celebrant’s teenage daughter took the mic and expressed her gratitude to her parents; “I’ve learned so much about marriage from my mum and dad, and I can confidently say that I’m already a wife material.” The audience couldn’t help but burst into laughter. But I learnt a lesson.
Friend, are you a wife material? Are you a husband material (Proverbs 31:10-31)? A wife is found, not picked on the road. She’s found where God has placed her to nurture and culture her for her destiny in marriage and life. Preparing for marriage does not start with attending marriage seminars and singles conferences. It is in your upbringing (Proverbs 18:22).
Most people see marriage as a special phase of life that comes out of the blues. They don’t connect it to their past (Ephesians 1:11). God would take His time to prepare you for where you are going even when you don’t have the slightest idea of that place. It was God who prepared Joseph for the palace just as He did Esther (Genesis 50:20).
One crucial preparation for a successful marriage is your Christian life (Ephesians 5:21-33). Perhaps we don’t need more marriage seminars. We need more Bible seminars. If you are grounded in God’s word and your walk with the Holy Spirit, a major part of your marital preparation is already taken care of (2 Timothy 3:16).
Most of what people are looking for in marriage seminars are things that could have been fixed in their Christian life (Acts 4:13, 11:26). If people see Bible studies and quality time in prayer as marriage preparation, they would pay more attention to these (1 Timothy 4:13-16). Pastors are tired of solving marital problems for people who won’t attend Bible studies.
Marriage is about modelling. You are not likely to do well in marriage if you have a wrong model before you (Psalm 112:1-10). Fortunately, if you lack a good model from your upbringing, God would give you another in church and other places. Therefore, giving the excuse of your upbringing is dodging responsibility (SoS 1:6). Your marital success is your responsibility.