A man fell into a ditch. His friends tried to rescue him, asking him to “give” them his hands. But he refused. When his wife arrived, she said, “My husband, take my hands,” and he willingly accepted her help. The friends were puzzled, and the wife explained, “I know my husband; he doesn’t respond to the language of giving, but he responds to taking.”
Friend, generosity is important in marriage. If you are not ready to give, don’t marry (Ephesians 5:25). The way the Bible described the love of Christ to the church was that he gave himself. Love is not sex. Love is not butterfly in your belly. Love is sacrifice. It is about giving. God’s love to humanity was expressed in giving (John 3:16).
A great marriage is a result of generous spouses (Proverbs 31:10-31). Stingy spouses would end up destroying their marriage. Even if you enter marriage as a stingy person, God has planned that the marriage would deliver you from that stinginess. Therefore, allow God to work on you. Let marriage make you a better person (Ephesians 5:21-33).
The first gift you are to give your family is the gift of you (Genesis 18:17-19). It is the gift of your presence. Your spouse and children want your presence, not just your presents. A lot of men buy the most expensive gifts for their wives, and that’s commendable. The only problem is that they are not there to enjoy such expensive gifts with their wives (Psalm 128:1-6).
Don’t marry someone who would not be available for you (Genesis 2:18). Someone who won’t prioritise you is not worth your relationship. A lot of spouses who seem to be enjoying material things are dying on the inside. They need love expressed by presence, not presents. Presents only make sense when there is presence (Genesis 15:1).
Some spouses are present but absent. They are available but not engaging (Proverbs 5:18). They are home but away. Their spouses and children cannot get their attention. They stay glued to their phones, laptops, or TV. They are not generous. When Jesus said it is more blessed to give than to receive, I believe he had couples in mind (Acts 20:35). Learn to give. Generosity pays.
‘Demola Awoyele
Lead Pastor,
Destiny Impact Church
Akure, Nigeria