Recently, during our family’s movie night, my wife stepped out briefly. When she returned, she asked; “Who’s this person to this other character?” One of my daughters called him, fiancé, the other one said, no. He’s her boyfriend. I wondered how they got to know the difference. I learned that relationships must be defined.
Friend, you need to define your relationships (Proverbs 18:24). Especially in marital relationships, learn to separate between boyfriend and fiancé. Sometimes, I wonder how the word “boyfriend” has found its way conveniently among Christians today. It’s not like this before. You are either in a committed marital relationship or you are single (Luke 1:27).
Ladies, learn to define your relationships (2 Samuel 13:12-13). Don’t let any guy do “canopy ministry” over your life and marriage. Don’t keep hanging out with someone who has not and will not make his intention known. Be bold enough to define the relationship. Don’t commit your heart and time to someone who has no plan to marry you (Proverbs 4:23). It always ends in heartbreaks.
Most heartbreaks are self-caused. You gave your heart to someone who does not know how to handle it or even deserve it (Genesis 34:1-3). Your heart and your love are delicate part of your marital journey that must never be treated with levity. You need to give your heart to God and let Him give it to the right person when the time comes (Proverbs 23:26).
I often tell singles to develop the art of maintaining platonic relationships with the opposite sex with no strings attached (SoS 2:7). Most young people have not been trained to do this. They always have a sexual or emotional colouration to every male-female relationship. Most do not even know how to set appropriate boundaries (Job 31:1).
Relationships must have their boundaries if you won’t get burnt (1 Corinthians 9:27). It is true that the devil tempts people. But some people tempt the devil to tempt them. You should live your life in a way that makes it difficult or impossible for the devil to tempt or destroy you (James 1:13-15). This includes defining relationships, having clear expectations, and setting appropriate boundaries.
‘Demola Awoyele
Lead Pastor,
Destiny Impact Church
Akure, Nigeria