I noticed the young man kept talking about his ex-fiancée when I sat with the couple. Although they were still undergoing counselling for their marriage. I had to call the young man privately and told him; “It seems you are not fully done with your ex. You need to let your past relationship be truly past if you want to enjoy your new relationship and marriage.” He got the lesson.
Friend, you need to know how to deal with your past if you would fulfil your marital destiny (Philippians 3:12). Whereas God desires that everyone succeeds maritally, the route for everyone may not be exactly the same. Some people have gone through various episodes of relationship breakups that, if not well handled, can truncate marital success (John 4:18).
Everybody has a past, including the devil. It is only God who does not have a past or future. Every one of us does have a past. Don’t allow your past to truncate your future. Rather, use your past as a springboard to your future (Micah 7:8). As far as God is concerned, your past is never a threat to your future. Jesus’ perfect sacrifice on the cross has taken care of your past (2 Corinthians 5:17).
You need to deal with your past relationship breakups (Judges 11:1-11). The fact that someone breaks up with you does not mean that you are a bad person. It may only mean that they are not deserving of you. It may also mean they cannot handle you and what you represent. Don’t let a failed relationship make you a failure (Proverbs 24:16).
Don’t let your ex-partner extinguish your destiny. Some people are still married to their past while attempting to court their present and enjoy a blissful future (Isaiah 43:18-19). You need to leave to cleave. Until you leave your ex both in heart and action, you cannot cleave to a new relationship ordained for you by God (Hebrews 11:8, 15-16). This may be the reason some are still unmarried.
If you don’t know how to deal with your past mistakes, you are likely to repeat them (Nahum 1:9). This is why people often move from one failed relationship or marriage to another failed one. Like the woman at the well, you will always look for a perfect man until you have an encounter with the perfect man (Christ) who has a perfect plan for your life and marriage (John 4:28-29). Learn to put your past in your past.