When our marriage was still much younger, I was returning from work on a particular day. I had this habit of listening to the news. It did not matter what my wife was watching, I would change the TV channel. But on that fateful day, the Holy Spirit said to me; “Don’t change the TV channel when you get in. Allow your wife to watch whatever she’s watching, and sit to watch with her.” I listened to the Holy Spirit, and that prevented a potential crisis in our home.
Friend, the Holy Spirit is your greatest advantage in marriage. Truly, marriage is for two individuals who have learnt to submit to the leading of the Holy Spirit (Romans 8:14). You need to know how to follow the Holy Spirit. A lot of crises would have been avoided if couples learned to follow the Holy Spirit. A lot of divorce cases will be avoided if people put their ego aside and submit to the Holy Spirit.
When you submit to your spouse, pastor, parents, etc., you are not really submitting to them but to the Holy Spirit (Colossians 3:18, 23). Submission is a spiritual matter. It is not about who is right or wrong, who is superior or inferior. It is about allowing God to have His way. There are times when God tells a husband to listen to his wife (Genesis 21:12). I believe husbands will do well to heed this charge.
Real leaders listen (Isaiah 1:18). It is not a sign of weakness. It is a sign of wisdom. It is wisdom to listen to what your wife is saying. Sometimes, you have to listen to what she is saying but not saying. It takes patience, humility, and sensitivity to listen. Marriage is not for egocentric people. It is for those who have chosen to follow the Holy Spirit and the dictates of the Bible, which includes mutual submission (Ephesians 5:21).
There is a time the husband will have to submit. Every man needs to understand that he will not always be right. Your idea will not always be the best idea. You must never allow your ego to come in the way of peace and progress in your marriage. You must learn to submit. When there is the right interplay of love and submission in the home, marital bliss will be the result. It is not about who is right or wrong. It is about what the Holy Spirit wants.
Couples must make up their mind to make their marriage work. This decision will translate into their doing their best to follow the leading of the Holy Spirit and make adjustments where necessary. Couples should invest into each other’s walk with the Lord and in their sensitivity to the Holy Spirit. This will do more than “15 Laws of Marital Success” and all those formulas for success in marriage. You need the Holy Spirit in your marriage.
‘Demola Awoyele
Lead Pastor,
Destiny Impact Church
Akure, Nigeria