The first time I said in a singles’ meeting, “God does not choose a spouse for you,” the room went quiet. Many of us grew up hearing, “God will pick for you.” That day, we found balance between God’s will and man’s choice. That balance will save you a lot of pain in marriage.
Friend, God does not pick your spouse for you. That would cancel your power of choice (Genesis 6:3). God made us with a will, not as robots. In marriage, like every other area, God leads — but you choose (Deuteronomy 30:19). He will guide, confirm, and bless. The final “yes” is yours.
The idea that “God forced me” is why some people are in bitter marriages today (Genesis 3:12). They stay not out of love but out of guilt. They feel they are doing God or their spouse a favour (Joshua 24:15). That is not marriage. That is bondage.
But this also does not mean “marry whoever you like.” We must be led by God in our choice (Psalm 16:5-7). Pray. Think. Get counsel. Don’t rush because “God said.” A shaky foundation will crack later (Isaiah 28:16). God leads, but you must be convinced.
God led Adam to Eve. But Adam named her and chose her (Genesis 2:19-23). God did the leading. Man did the choosing. Marriage is sweetest when you can say, “I chose by conviction,” not “Someone chose for me.” That way, you won’t blame God, pastor, or parents later (Hebrews 10:5-7).
Our Christian walk is a walk of yielding (Philippians 2:12-13). The closer you walk with God, the easier it is to choose His will. Intimacy breaks pride. Brokenness chooses God’s will (Romans 12:1-2). Marriage is fun when you are in God’s will by choice, not by force.
‘Demola Awoyele
Lead Pastor,
Destiny Impact Church
Akure, Nigeria