Friend, what type of a husband are you? How do you measure manliness? By a full beard? By fathering children? By age? By how well you control your wife? But the real question is: how does God measure a man? How does He rate you in fulfilling your responsibility as a man (1 Samuel 2:12, 29)?
It’s said that when Michelangelo was asked about his statue of David, he replied, “I saw the figure in the marble and carved until I set it free.” God brings a woman to a man like uncut marble. A husband sees the glory God placed in her and carefully shapes her with love. A horseman just chips away carelessly.
It is not enough to be the husband of one wife as the scriptures commands. You should be a real husband (1 Timothy 3:2). Having a wife does not automatically make you a husband. Just like marriage does not automatically make a lady a wife. Some men are true husbands. Others are just horsemen (Malachi 2:15).
A husband leads his wife toward her God-given potential. A horseman drags her against her will (1 Corinthians 9:5). A husband practices “husbandry” — he cultivates. A horseman only uses. There are gifts and graces in a woman that must be cultivated. As the man, you set the tone for what she becomes and for the atmosphere in your home (Psalm 128:3).
The kind of woman your wife becomes and the kind of family you raise is largely your responsibility as a man (Genesis 18:19). God gives you a woman as raw material. You decide what she becomes (Genesis 2:23). If you’re not ready to train, mentor, and build, don’t ask for a wife.
Ladies, one of the greatest gifts you can give your man and your marriage is to help him become the man God called him to be (Proverbs 31:23). Don’t exploit his weaknesses — that’s manipulation. Help him grow. Pray for him. Encourage him. Challenge him. Connect him. Make godly demands. Push him to step into leadership. Your home will be better for it.
‘Demola Awoyele
Lead Pastor,
Destiny Impact Church
Akure, Nigeria