During our second year on campus, my wife told me she’s led to have me as her spiritual father. I was the pastor of our campus fellowship at the time. Unknown to her, God had earlier told me she would be my wife. When I later proposed marriage to her, I had to switch from relating to her as my spiritual daughter to relating as my partner.
Friend, marriage is an equaliser. No matter how young someone is to you, marriage elevates her to your level (Matthew 19:6). Seeing your wife as lesser, younger, or inferior will hinder your progress in marriage. If you’re not ready to treat your spouse as a co-heir of God’s grace, your marriage will suffer (Malachi 2:13-15, 1 Peter 3:7).
Women should honour and respect their husbands, but that doesn’t mean men should treat their wives like trash (1 Peter 3:5-7). Some men can’t have healthy conversations with their wives because they think less of them; “What does she know? She’s young, unexposed, she’s a fool, etc.”
If you call your wife a fool, you’re the bigger fool. Your wisdom shows in your choice of partner (Proverbs 4:7). It takes a fool to marry a fool. I believe women are incredibly wise (Proverbs 9:1). If you marry right, God has packaged wisdom for your success in your wife (Proverbs 31:10-12). Ignore her at your peril.
Don’t marry someone you can’t be proud of or call your partner publicly (Proverbs 31:23). Marriage is an equaliser. Even if a church leader marries a chorister, she’s now a partner, not a daughter. Husbands, don’t confuse respect with inferiority.
Your wife calling you “Daddy” is honour; your daughter calling you that is a responsibility (1 Peter 3:6). God gave you the job of raising your wife to your level (Ephesians 5:25-28). Your success as a man shows in what you’ve made of your wife. If you can’t build her, don’t marry her. Husbands, step up! Wives, level up!
‘Demola Awoyele
Lead Pastor,
Destiny Impact Church
Akure, Nigeria