He was someone most people would not like to relate with. But I noticed he always wanted to get close to me. Then one day, the revelation of my role in his life and his role in my life dawned on me. My attitude towards him changed. I was able to discern the relationship.
Friend, every relationship must be defined. But to define relationships, you need to learn to discern relationships. You need to see people for what they are if you would be posture correctly in them (2 Corinthians 5:16). One of the reasons Jonathan connected rightly (at the initial stage) with David was that he discerned his role in David’s life and vice versa (1 Samuel 23:17). He was not going to compete with David.
God has a purpose for the relationships that He brings us into. But His purpose may not be our purpose. When you know God’s purpose for relationships, you would posture aright and accordingly. There are some relationships that are meant to supply wisdom to you (Proverbs 13:20). You may not get money from such people but the wisdom you glean from them would be worth more than money.
Some relationships are to supply strength in areas of your weakness. You are as strong as your relationship network. When you come in contact with such people, they would challenge you in areas of your inadequacies (Proverbs 27:17). While others overlook your weakness, they would not. Rather than being intimidated by their strength, you must learn to be inspired and challenged by it.
There are relationships that are to bring financial and material resources (Psalms 72:10). Jesus had such people in His life and ministry (Luke 8:1-3). These people may not look like it initially; they may even look like people who have problems themselves (Luke 8:2). Your focus is not on what they are to give you but on what you are to do in their lives. It is impact that brings income. Don’t be greedy for what people have. Rather, be driven by what you are to do in their lives (Acts 20:33).
Learn to ask; “Who is this person in my life?” This would help you to discern relationships. He can be your boss or husband by function, but your trainer by destiny. He can be your colleague in school but your covenant friend by destiny. Esther saw Mordecai beyond being her uncle; this helped her to unlock her destiny of greatness (Esther 2:7, 20). The disciples of Jesus saw Him beyond just another Rabbi in town; they saw someone they needed for their fulfilment (Matthew 16:16, John 6:67-69).
© ‘Demola Awoyele
Lead Pastor,
Destiny Impact Church
Akure, Nigeria
