One of the best counsels I received when we started church work was from a father in the faith. He said, “Son, if you want to build a strong and lasting ministry, be firm and friendly with people.” That counsel has helped me greatly over the years, not just in ministry but in life and destiny.
Friend, you need to balance firmness with friendliness. This is a major requirement for lasting success and greatness (Matthew 16:17-23). Whether in ministry, business, or marriage, you must be firm and friendly. You must learn to stand for what is right without sounding hateful or harsh.
Being friendly without being firm will make a mess of your life. Being firm without being friendly will limit how far you can go. People must both respect and like you to build wholesome leadership. If they respect you but don’t like you, they will admire you from afar (Proverbs 18:24).
If they like you but don’t respect you, they will take you for granted. Respect comes from firmness while likeness comes from friendliness. Firmness is not hardness or being hardfaced. It is strict adherence to the right principles that make things work. It is a measure of character (Hebrews 13:8).
Like Peter, we must all move from being a reed to being a rock (Matthew 16:18). A spineless leader is a disappointment to divine purpose. You cannot please everyone and still fulfil purpose. There are moments you must say no with love and stand your ground with grace (Ephesians 4:15).
Friendliness is not a gift. It is an attitude you can develop. It starts with wearing a smile (Proverbs 27:17). Be genuinely interested in people and what matters to them (Proverbs 17:17). Jesus was firm on Kingdom principles. He was also called a friend of sinners (Matthew 11:19). Jesus was sociable, approachable, and enjoyable. What about you?
‘Demola Awoyele
Lead Pastor,
Destiny Impact Church
Akure, Nigeria
