A man of God once told his wife in private, “No matter what people do to you, maintain a sweet spirit. Preserve your values and virtues. Don’t let people change you.” That counsel is not only for pastors’ wives. It is for everyone who wants to finish well and strong.
Friend, don’t let people change you. People will always be people; they are not always reliable (Jeremiah 17:9). They may maltreat you, tempt you, and provoke you. Those you love most may one day treat you badly. Some will misunderstand you, and others may blackmail you. In all, learn to maintain a sweet spirit (Luke 9:53-56).
Maintaining a sweet spirit is a decision we all must make. It is about God, not people. Like Peter admonished, your sweet spirit is of great price before God (1 Peter 3:4). It matters to God even when others don’t value it. That was why David was called a man after God’s heart (Acts 13:22).
David kept a sweet spirit despite all that Saul did to him (1 Samuel 26:7-12). Don’t let your boss’s wickedness make you wicked. Don’t let people’s craftiness make you crafty. Don’t let their misbehaviour make you misbehave. You are answerable to God, not to people, and you will give an account of your life to Him (Romans 14:12).
God brings people our way to build the right spirit in us (Proverbs 27:17). The fruit of the Spirit grows in relationships, not in isolation. Avoiding people will not make you who God wants you to be. You cannot claim humility until you remain humble before proud people, nor patience until you endure difficult people (Proverbs 25:28).
Meekness is not weakness; it is strength under the control of the Holy Spirit (1 Peter 2:20-24). Meekness is handling people with wisdom in a way that glorifies God. Learn from what people do and become wiser, but let it make you better, not bitter. Don’t become cold and callous because of hurt (1 Peter 4:19). Don’t let people change you.
‘Demola Awoyele
Lead Pastor,
Destiny Impact Church
Akure, Nigeria
