At a relationship conference, a minister asked, “Is it okay to date unbelievers for material benefits?” A church worker replied, “You can date them, just don’t marry them.” The guest speaker was dumbfounded. It shows how lightly many believers now treat a subject God takes very seriously.
Friend, don’t enter a relationship with someone you don’t intend to marry. In relationships, purpose must be defined, and boundaries must be set (Proverbs 29:18). Why have a boyfriend or girlfriend just for fun? Why start what you are not ready to finish in marriage (2 Samuel 13:4, 12-13)?
Many are trapped today because of misguided steps (Ecclesiastes 10:15). Much of the marital frustration we see comes from a lack of clarity and purpose. Just because everyone around you is dating doesn’t mean you must rush into an undefined relationship (Daniel 1:8).
Why date an unbeliever? Are you looking for material gain or for the fulfilment of God’s purpose (2 Corinthians 6:14-18)? If we still need to convince Christians not to date unbelievers, what kind of disciples are we raising? We have imported worldly standards into the church, and casualties are emerging (Romans 12:1-2).
Some subjects can only be safely discussed when discipleship is firmly laid. Teaching prosperity to those who are not true disciples breeds crooks (1 Timothy 6:10-12). Teaching marriage to those who have not been to the cross breeds perverts. We must first get people saved and discipled (Jude 1:17-23).
I have said it repeatedly that what most young people need now is not a marriage seminar but a Bible seminar (2 Timothy 3:15-16). They must first learn Christ and His demands before learning marriage. No kingdom subject can be rightly taught outside correct biblical foundation and true discipleship (Ephesians 4:20).
‘Demola Awoyele
Lead Pastor,
Destiny Impact Church
Akure, Nigeria
